Bovine Theology

It shouldn’t be. But it has. It’s been nearly 6 months since my last post. I don’t have an excuse. I have tons of them! But they’re the same reasons most people don’t blog, so they’re really not valid. I won’t make any promises to start blogging again. It doesn’t really matter when there’s not a whole lot worth reading. And I’d be surprised to learn that anyone might even read this post.
So in case I never come back, let me share my current favorite blog. And in case I don’t make it back before the 25th, Merry Christmas!

My good buddy, Joey Smith, has just finished his first book, The Blender. Joey has mad skills at telling stories. He has the way to take the mundane things of life and make you laugh until you cry. I know because we worked together for too short of a time. But during that time, he would on a daily basis make us all laugh. But the thing I liked best about Joey’s anecdotes was that they always had substance. Even now, he’ll send me something, often about his boys, in which he makes my eyes water from laughing, but at the same time speaks to my heart. Joey is the real-deal. He wants to be a good husband and father, but falls on his face too often. And he talks about it, unlike the rest of us who fall on our faces just as often and try to hide it to protect our pride.

I’m excited because his book was released today, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. I can endorse it even before I read it because I know it will make you laugh, cry, and think about your life. It may even make you a little wiser, a little more loving, and possibly even smarter. I know this because this is what my conversations with Joey always do. Pick up a copy of The Blender soon for some enjoyable reading.

We had a good time with Leslie’s family. Uncle Gary brought his new toy (a Wii with the Fit and Rock Band 2 with all the attachments). Before our time was done, almost everyone was into it. McGrooter was especially “funky” and even Leslie got hooked pretty quickly. Enjoy!

I received this rather insightful email today. Okay, it’s not a wise move, but at least it’s a funny poke at Washington’s ridiculous idea of a bailout!

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+  into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.  That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance / health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean  or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+  including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 (vote buy) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let?s bail out every adult US Citizen 18+!

As for AIG ? liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion
We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Kindest personal regards,
Birk T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

Thanks to my brother-in-law, I got to enjoy watching this wonderful video today. I kept waiting for the SNL trailer. But sad to say, it is real.

And speaking of good tunage, McGrooter has become quite interested in watching the Gospel Music Channel. And I’m not sure how scared I should be by some of his favorites. Beware, you probably need an extra dose of grace to appreciate his taste!

First, there’s Skillet, a band I listened to years ago. This is his current favorite rock song. But the boy likes his rap too, including this ear candy by Mr. Del. You should see his mom dance to this one! And we can’t forget all the kids favorite, KJ-52′s Do Yo Thang. Then there is the entire family favorite, Joyful Noise. I can only imagine what the teenage years will be like! (by the way, for those who don’t know me, I kind of like the music stuff so it’s somewhat in the genes)

I try to bite my lip when political issues come up in conversation. I usually fail. And this is no exception. As I read the news today, I couldn’t help but notice a picture of one of my “favorite” pastors, Rod Parsley. Don’t ask me why I like to watch him. He distorts the Gospel, and in reality preaches a false gospel of health and wealth. But he is so intense. And his ability to twist scripture is amazing (in a bad way). I haven’t watched him in years, but before we had kids Leslie would often come into the room and find me watching the hour of power, or whatever it was.

Anyway, back to the news. I saw this video with a caption below it about McCain’s pastor problems. I thought, “I didn’t know McCain went to church in Ohio!” That would be some commute for him, whether from DC or from Arizona (Rod Parsley lives and is pastor of a church in Columbus, OH). So I watched it. I heard McCain praise Parsley as one of the “great leaders in America” and something about “a moral compass.” I thought to myself, “he doesn’t know what he’s saying or what he’s getting himself into with this guy.” Then he walks across the stage and shakes his hand. In that moment I was awed at the stupidity of political staffers and strategists. Rod Parsley doesn’t represent evangelicalism any more than Rev. Wright represents “the black church.” Now that’s of course a whole other issue wherein many in America have generalized and stereotyped African Americans as a group based on color, but would never say “the white church.” But I won’t open that can right now.

The irony is that both men, who are both hungry for power, sacrifice so many things in joining together and end up creating a mess. I’m not talking about issues of theology and truth. I’m just pointing out the sickness of politics. “Who didn’t check this Parsley guy out?” I can hear McCain saying. And I can imagine Parsley’s inbox filling up with emails from supporters once McCain openly criticizes and rejects him. Both, I’m sure, are scrambling to do damage control.

But I’ve come to tolerate as much in our nation. That’s politics in America. What sickens me more is what ABC did in this piece. How many hours of footage did they go through to find just the right clips to juxtapose next to each other to “create” these problems. Oh, I’m sure there are plenty of people upset by this. But what ABC is trying to do is create the same problem for McCain that garnered so much attention for Obama. That’ll get the ratings up! Whether I like McCain or not, like Parsley or not, does ABC expect me to believe that any presidential candidate is going to find a pure band of supporters who share exactly every single view that they do? Of course there are views that Parsley will have that McCain will disagree with, just the same as Obama and Wright. Why can’t the guy shake his hand on stage without ABC trying to attach all of Parsley’s views on McCain? Good night, Parsley isn’t even his pastor. Yes, McCain’s staffers were dumb to set this up. They brought this upon themselves. It was a political mistake in the rules of politics. And because of the smirk on Parsley’s face, I don’t feel sorry for either one of them. But that is all so miniscule in comparison to the utter disdain I have for what ABC and other media outlets do to drive up ratings.

And that is why I say, “Rick and Bubba For President!“

Speaking of good books, a good friend of mine sent me an email about a book his brother has written. Baron (and his wife Jamie) took me under their wings when I was just a young pup in Hawaii. They played a large part in my spiritual growth during that time, and were very much my family away from family while I was there. Anyway, Baron’s brother Eric has written the first in a series of books that is similar to The Chronicles of Narnia series, by C.S. Lewis. The name of the book is, Ryann Watters and the King’s Sword. It sounds like the age range is for kids 9-15, so I’ll have to check it out to see if my kids are ready for it. But I thought some folks out in blogland might be interested. If you want to hear more from Eric there is an interview on You Tube from a local Orlando show that you can watch. That got me more interested in the book, and it was fun seeing how much he reminded me of his brother. Here is part 1 of the interview, and here is part 2. You can find the book on Amazon by clicking here. And by the way, if you ever order from Amazon feel free to use any link here on my blog when going to order (even if you’re not ordering that product). It doesn’t change the price or experience for you, but I do get a referral fee which allows me to pay the extra portion of my electric bill from my daughter’s nightlight.

Yesterday, as I was taking Munchkin to school, we had this conversation:

Munch: I wish we had an airplane, Daddy.
Me: Really? Where would we go in it?
Munch: China.
Me: Oh really? And what would we do in China?
Munch: We’d have a China party!
Me: And what is a China party like?
Munch: That’s where Mimi gets her good china out.

Not even four years old and already liking the finer things in life. That’s my Munch!

What the boys want for the Wii…

What the boys should want for the Wii…

I feel like thanking God the taxes are done the way this man (from a Tyler Perry play) thanks God for chicken:

Funny is good after many hours doing taxes.